Ever felt like you’ve stepped back in time, not in a Morlocks and Eeloy kind of way, say about five years? Five years ago I had a job, had a dog, a car and was involved in ‘something’ (same city same bed) with J3. When it ended it wasn’t pretty, which is odd because we’d both felt that it should end. We just had very different ideas on how we should communicate that to each other. I thought talk. He thought take another girl to bed when I was in the house. J3 wanted it over because he was worried I thought I was his girlfriend. I wanted it over because I didn’t want to be his girlfriend. We didn’t speak for five years. It was all highly dramatic at the time.
Fast forward to the present day and I have the maternal unit’s car, I got a new puppy, and somehow J3 and I have reconnected. Bizarre to be sure, and given the amount of effort I put in to put an end to my old life, it’s slightly confusing. I’ve even been applying for ‘jobs’ (cringe) to give a little more consistency to my income. The globe’s finances may be in crisis, but freelance journalism in Australia is in the ICU.
Long story short, J3 and I are closer than we’ve ever been and he communicates more than the 7.30 Report – it’s almost a turn off. He pays his bills on time and genuinely seems to give a dam about more than just himself. He’s showing all the signs of being a good man. It would seem he’s changed, grown, but have I? When picking between my passport and my partner is my idea of Sophie’s choice?
My non-relationship with J3 in the past few months has been more successful than my actual relationship with Norway had been in years. Nights when we aren’t together we’re on the phone until bed time. And nights we are together it just works. Apart from the snoring. After three years of living with a selfish high-maintenance woman, who took his time and every dime, nice and courteous goes a long way with J3 – and only the odd complaint about the snoring. Why aren’t we a couple you ask? Our friends keep blaming J3 for us not being an official item, the problem is, I think it’s more because of me. He’s dissolving his life with his common-law wife, and isn’t ready to make any new commitments. Fair enough. For me it comes down to one question: how much can a person change? I don’t mean him, I mean me. Now as much as ever, I want more.
J3 loves his little blue house in the country. I love a boarding pass in my LV travel wallet. He lives a half hour to the general store, his dog sleeps on the bed, and he sells Asian teas to local tourists. I live a half hour to the International terminal. My dog sleeps on my designer shoes, and I’m working on a project where tea is grown up the road. He’s a good guy, when he cleans the bathroom, but the quiet life wasn’t right for me five years ago, would round two be any different? Or are we just too different? (like that I buy clothes that fit and think coffee is a beverage not a meal supplement) Until I know the answer to that, J3 is my NBF – Non-boyfriend. Definition: A monogamous relationship in which both parties are aware they may be left, with little warning, for someone better suited to the relationship requirements of the other. Or as I like to say, if you can’t be with the one you love, treat the one you’re with with love.
